Turn back time

Sometimes you wish you could turn back time. You wish you were there again, in Japan, with friends, having the time of your life… enjoying a better kind of humanity, a better kind of human conscience.

I’m not the only one. In fact we are an invisible kind of people. The shock of being back from Japan was hard in some people’s cases and many cannot go on without thinking how much things would just go smoother if we were back in the risin’ sun’s land.
The ever-lasting flashbacks of how wonderful Japan is… sometimes cannot deter the terrorizing idea of having to deal with crazy and lazy people that just want to screw you in your home country. Having to face everyday life back in Canada was a very hard thing for me to do because I’ve come to realize that people have been living their lives the “wrong” way for hundreds of years.
People in this country (Canada, and many other) live their life wasting way too much precious time, and just want to think of a way to blame others and destroy them. This is exasperating.

Can’t I have my own life already?
In Canada, everyone wants to be your friend. Everyone wants to know your life, your past and your opinions just to tease you about it and blast off how better they are… They want to be closer to you to be able to destroy you better. But the brief feeling of victory on another human being is nowhere near helping the human race or society to overcome its challenges.

In Japan, people at the work place for example, they don’t care about your personal life. It’s yours, so keep it. Society challenges and the well-being of everyone in the community is way more important than the sole enjoyment of having a comrade desperately fail, out of luck… or help. In fact, this never happens. People don’t make fun of the fall. We may look at it like this : the process of many things is more important than the result itself, so failing after trying and working for Something is not necessarily a bad thing anyway. And generally, people in Japan understands this.

I could go on telling you things like this about Japan. But in the end, if you never live it for yourself, if you never try to fully understand the “wa” by living full-time immersed in Japan and its culture, its people and its complicated laws, written or not, you’ll never grasp a single hint of how much things make sense in the Japanese philosophy of life. Life, after all, is considered there as an art. So you don’t screw it up, you live it, you try hard, you follow the crew, the flow, the community, try to find ways for stuff to work even if Japan is very conservative.
Of course you will have some western ideas ingrained in your mind that will spark up some red lights in your head about some things you will learn and see in Japan. But you MUST forget about those ideas if you want to live there. Japan is for Japanese people, yes. But the Japanese life philosophy can be for everyone. That philosophy, induced into pretty much every aspect of the life is the shinto philosophy.
Everyone could benefit from it. I have a hard time imagining that many would succeed big time in acquiring this wisdom but I can certainly certify that this is the best way one could live.

I may be quite vague about some aspects of this subject but y’all must know a thing : whatever you do in this world, you must do it accordingly  for the preservation and respect of your surroundings… things, animals, humans… Forget about yourself… what about we do it for everyone? For the world? Wouldn’t it be a whole lot better place to live that way?
In some way we can call it the karma. Work with the karma.

Sometimes I just wish this bad dream of coming back to Canada would be over.
I did so many things in my life, and who knows how hard it has been for me. I tried dead hard, again and again, running out of patience, energy and sanity. I’m running out of hope too…
Sometimes I even get discouraged enough that I just wish I would just end my life throwing my lost soul into the horrifying claws of other people’s dreams, and their ideal plans for me. So far I couldn’t succeed at much things. I feel I wasn’t good enough. I may have been doing many things, learn many things and know a whole bunch, but it seems I’m not very good at any of them.
And so I’d died because giving up my own dreams was a stupid idea.. Overworked, because I couldn’t figure the way out of this nightmare.

Going to Japan for that long time (been there one year) and coming back finally made me realize a lot of things. A lot of them things are really hard to explain…
Life for me will never be the same as before. Life will never be as boring as before too… If only I can manage to go forward like following my reinforced dreams now.
I don’t want to turn round and round anymore. I must go straight to the point. I’ve pretty much made my mind about moving to Japan for good.
Because we all have only one life to live, so we got to live it to the fullest!!!
Hopefully there is that someone, somewhere, who is willing to share this same way of living with you… Someone that even if you’re separated, you’ll forever be linked by this understanding of life, of the universe…

So now, I couldn’t die anyway, because I would miss you too much in heaven, whoever you are.
I didn’t want to ever deceive you, so I’m trying my best.
And so I will never give up my dreams…
Even if you leave me alone in them… Like everyone ever did…
I’ll see you in heaven…