Endangered specie

This is the house. Under this route, under this sun, under those circumstances. Viral it is not. In fact… YOU
YOU, that will probably not read this, because it seems I’m alone on the Internet…
Well, this has become really painful.

So, it’s been a while, some stuff happened, too much stuff. Finally got some time to think and clean what’s left of my life after a few months working my ass off in Japan to pay for my three-wheel motorcycle in Canada. I didn’t need that, but that’s another story. I unvoluntarily have some time off now because I broke a bone in my left foot…..
After the last post on this blog, I had embark on a journey in Hakuba, Nagano to work at a ski resort. I didn’t think I’d fit in at all, the first days were horrible since I could barely speak Japanese. Eventually I got better, mended my head, or the inside of it. Could start snowboarding which has been a very very good thing. Finally I could start to enjoy after about a month… I made a few friends, kept contact with them on Facebook. I didn’t go out as much as I would’ve liked to because every day at work was tiring and I didn’t have much money. I also felt something for a coworker but she blatantly started ignoring me like if I was a mere dog.
April 1st meant this was all over in Hakuba. I headed to Takayama and lived there like in a dream working at an hostel 4 hours per day and doing bicycle the rest of the time around town. My friend Rina and me had some great fun too. This was AWESOME.
Then on April 19th I embarked for yet another journey this time in Kamikouchi, a big natural prison located in the most remote valley in Japan, at the heart of the Japanese Alps. I was going to work at the souvenir shop and café of an hotel. The first few days was training and then we suffered the Golden Week where a lot of people came. This was literally the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. My Japanese level still being quite low, I had a hard time following and my manager was speaking so fast I couldn’t understand half of what he was teaching us to do. Well, everyone was new at this job. My colleagues, and in fact all of the staff, spoke ONLY Japanese, except for one girl in management I happened to meet one or two times… Considering that the hotel I work at is quite classy, the rules and manners are strict and self-presentation really important. Nevertheless, I made it, I could get in the beat after about 1 month and I have been able to learn a lot. I had the chance to work with one-of-a-kind Japanese lady of my age which I naturally fell in love with and then she started ignoring me, like all the Japanese girls do…. Every single Japanese girl I’ve ever met and talked.. stopped talking to me. Every single one of them just blatantly decided they would just ignore me for the rest of times. This is very frustrating when it’s literally EVERY ONE…. Anyway this time, this particular girl she wants to learn English and French, yet she speaks very little English so I managed to have her understanding and she helped me understand work by explaining me stuff slower than the manager. My manager speaks and act so fast, I think he drinks 10 coffees in the morning and then try to calm the fuck down by smoking an entire pack of 20 cigarettes during the day and at the end he’s exhausted.
Nevertheless, mid-June I was coming out of the dormitories with my cans and recycle when I tripped and fell down hurting my left food badly. Went to the clinic and the doctor said it didn’t look that bad and it was probably just a strain. So I continued working with that pain without really knowing anything about what was going on in my foot. One week later I decided to go to the hospital in Takayama since I had a day off and it was still hurting. After waiting 5 long (not) minutes in the waiting room of the emergency, I finally saw a doctor and he sent me to X-rays. When I got back he said something like : “Dude, you’ve fucked up your motherfucking foot real bad bro'” in Japanese keigo (super-respectful) language. And so I had a crack in a bone and it would need to be immobilized for a certain period of time so they wrapped my foot up to down the knee with a cast made of laminated 3M plastic bands, pretty revolutionary in my idea, never seen that before. I was shocked. This meant I would have to give up working.
I had to give up after all. One week later, still living in the staff dormitories of the hotel in Kamikochi, they kindly urged me to pack the hell out of my junk and get the hell out of there, forcing me to go to some place I didn’t find to stay at. They made a call to a contact they have in Matsumoto and secured an appartment for me on third and last floor of a nice building near Kita-Matsumoto station. One month. No deposit, no key money, no garantor, 300$ for the month + electricity, water and gas charge. I’m pretty happy with that especially it’s a nice and quiet place. But I had NOTHING in there, just my stuff and a futon they lent me. Nothing to cook, nothing to sit down, no furniture, curtains, NOTHING. I was wrecked, completely screwed. I cried a lot. I said to myself I should have searched more, ask ALL of my friends, find a cheaper place, whatever…. but I didn’t have much time before that and no mean to carry my stuff, having to walk with crutches…

So here I am now, after some shopping I could manage to live here temporarily, with very little money I have left. I didn’t see anyone I know for the last 15 days now except one time I went to Takayama to the hospital again and passed by my friend’s hostel she’s working at. So… it feels pretty lonely… pretty painful… But I managed to out-think myself and do some stuff, sort my junk and throw out some stuff I didn’t need.
Now I try to see the sunny side of the street.
Now I try to convince myself that it’s not over yet.
Now I try to think that I didn’t fail yet, that I still have two months left here in Japan, in my dream, my real life, everything that I ever dreamed of, even in this state, here, because every time I go out of this apartment, I once again see that I live in the best country in the world, even if it’s not perfect, it’s good enough for me and if you know me, you know why and you know what this means. END
btw if by the end of July my foot is mended right enough, I’ll probably go back to work at that hotel and annoy the shit out of that dream girl I worked with… She will probably be shocked and put on a poker face, ignore me and speak to me strictly for work purpose I guess… Can’t help it… Japanese girls doesn’t seems to like me at all…… 😦

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