Turn back time

Sometimes you wish you could turn back time. You wish you were there again, in Japan, with friends, having the time of your life… enjoying a better kind of humanity, a better kind of human conscience.

I’m not the only one. In fact we are an invisible kind of people. The shock of being back from Japan was hard in some people’s cases and many cannot go on without thinking how much things would just go smoother if we were back in the risin’ sun’s land.
The ever-lasting flashbacks of how wonderful Japan is… sometimes cannot deter the terrorizing idea of having to deal with crazy and lazy people that just want to screw you in your home country. Having to face everyday life back in Canada was a very hard thing for me to do because I’ve come to realize that people have been living their lives the “wrong” way for hundreds of years.
People in this country (Canada, and many other) live their life wasting way too much precious time, and just want to think of a way to blame others and destroy them. This is exasperating.

Can’t I have my own life already?
In Canada, everyone wants to be your friend. Everyone wants to know your life, your past and your opinions just to tease you about it and blast off how better they are… They want to be closer to you to be able to destroy you better. But the brief feeling of victory on another human being is nowhere near helping the human race or society to overcome its challenges.

In Japan, people at the work place for example, they don’t care about your personal life. It’s yours, so keep it. Society challenges and the well-being of everyone in the community is way more important than the sole enjoyment of having a comrade desperately fail, out of luck… or help. In fact, this never happens. People don’t make fun of the fall. We may look at it like this : the process of many things is more important than the result itself, so failing after trying and working for Something is not necessarily a bad thing anyway. And generally, people in Japan understands this.

I could go on telling you things like this about Japan. But in the end, if you never live it for yourself, if you never try to fully understand the “wa” by living full-time immersed in Japan and its culture, its people and its complicated laws, written or not, you’ll never grasp a single hint of how much things make sense in the Japanese philosophy of life. Life, after all, is considered there as an art. So you don’t screw it up, you live it, you try hard, you follow the crew, the flow, the community, try to find ways for stuff to work even if Japan is very conservative.
Of course you will have some western ideas ingrained in your mind that will spark up some red lights in your head about some things you will learn and see in Japan. But you MUST forget about those ideas if you want to live there. Japan is for Japanese people, yes. But the Japanese life philosophy can be for everyone. That philosophy, induced into pretty much every aspect of the life is the shinto philosophy.
Everyone could benefit from it. I have a hard time imagining that many would succeed big time in acquiring this wisdom but I can certainly certify that this is the best way one could live.

I may be quite vague about some aspects of this subject but y’all must know a thing : whatever you do in this world, you must do it accordingly  for the preservation and respect of your surroundings… things, animals, humans… Forget about yourself… what about we do it for everyone? For the world? Wouldn’t it be a whole lot better place to live that way?
In some way we can call it the karma. Work with the karma.

Sometimes I just wish this bad dream of coming back to Canada would be over.
I did so many things in my life, and who knows how hard it has been for me. I tried dead hard, again and again, running out of patience, energy and sanity. I’m running out of hope too…
Sometimes I even get discouraged enough that I just wish I would just end my life throwing my lost soul into the horrifying claws of other people’s dreams, and their ideal plans for me. So far I couldn’t succeed at much things. I feel I wasn’t good enough. I may have been doing many things, learn many things and know a whole bunch, but it seems I’m not very good at any of them.
And so I’d died because giving up my own dreams was a stupid idea.. Overworked, because I couldn’t figure the way out of this nightmare.

Going to Japan for that long time (been there one year) and coming back finally made me realize a lot of things. A lot of them things are really hard to explain…
Life for me will never be the same as before. Life will never be as boring as before too… If only I can manage to go forward like following my reinforced dreams now.
I don’t want to turn round and round anymore. I must go straight to the point. I’ve pretty much made my mind about moving to Japan for good.
Because we all have only one life to live, so we got to live it to the fullest!!!
Hopefully there is that someone, somewhere, who is willing to share this same way of living with you… Someone that even if you’re separated, you’ll forever be linked by this understanding of life, of the universe…

So now, I couldn’t die anyway, because I would miss you too much in heaven, whoever you are.
I didn’t want to ever deceive you, so I’m trying my best.
And so I will never give up my dreams…
Even if you leave me alone in them… Like everyone ever did…
I’ll see you in heaven…

Ce jour là…

Well, this has become incredibly painful.

The way back isn’t an easy one.
The fact of living this life is crushing me. Not sure how much longer I’ll be able to withstand this.
So I just got home one week ago and start getting all the mocking comments from my family, friends and acquaintances that I’ve failed and I spent one whole year enjoying myself and spending money. Sometimes I feel like I just want to kill myself.
Yes, the goal was kind of hidden but… The goal was to be able to stay in Japan.
All this year I’ve been in Japan, I’ve been thinking about this time awkwardly. I have been saying to myself that if I would have to go back home without having found an opportunity(ies) in Japan, that it would mean I failed to what I wanted to accomplish in the first place…

I mean, I had some really good times and met some great people and some friends that might be friends for life, but some people in Western culture only focus on the result. And I’ll be the one to blame, the one who failed, but most importantly the one who wanted to leave behind some responsibilities. I feel like a wreck. I’d even prefer having stayed in Japan illegally at that point… (that’s very risky so I’d figured I’d try something else for now)

Yes I broke a foot while in Japan, and while a lot of people would have gone back home, I stayed in Japan. I worked my ass off for small low-paying jobs and I loved to do it, because I could live, and that’s all I needed. That’s all I needed to be happy and it would still be like this in the future, if I ever get the chance to go back to Japan.
But that is nothing compared to the feeling that you’ve done all of this for pretty much nothing. I sometimes start to regret my decision of going to Japan on a working holiday visa and one of my friend actually warned me when I did applied. I should’ve gone another way, go to University, study anything, get a bachelor degree, and get to Japan and teach English. Since Japan immigration laws are so strict, finding any job is nearly impossible without having a University degree, which I don’t have.

So immigrating to Japan is difficult. Hell yeah :
Finding a job and get a work visa from it require having a University degree or having a company that wants to hire you so much that they will pay the fees for a lawyer to make it possible to get the work visa only with a college degree.
Dating women has proven to be difficult, see darn right impossible. I’ve made contact with many single women, and every freaking single one of them stopped talking to me…
I’ve heard this too many times, even at job interviews : “Find a girlfriend in Japan and marry her, it’s the easiest way to stay!”
I just want to punch someone in the face for saying something like that despite how much I agree with the basic principle of marrying someone to stay. But it’s not like if it would happen from today to tommorrow!!!
So yeah, as immigration laws, there are a lot of complicated stuff revolving around Japan. It appears I’ve seen only the tip of the iceberg. But I’ve been prepared for it. I’ve seen a lot while I was there.
The grass may not be greener over there, but its colour sure doesn’t put me off just yet.

So yeah, I basically failed from the start you’ll say. It would be easy to give up working hard but I’ve always been to the foremost of my ideas and I wouldn’t let go of this one, even after I have broken a foot and having to come back to Canada…

But now, as described in my previous posts, I’m waiting for that student visa thing to come true and then go back to Japan to study Japanese and become “somebody”, not just a guy. And that, I hope, will be the decisive point. I’m putting a lot in this gambling and I fear that my family, especially my father, may not approve.
The good and the bad thing is, I must part with EVERYTHING… and everyone here…
I understand that there will be no turning back. But what’s life if you don’t try your best to follow your dreams? I don’t want regrets. I don’t want to die without having tried. I don’t want to get old and ask myself “what if I would have tried harder, harder than anyone”… Because I want to try, harder than anyone. I don’t have kids now, heck I don’t even have a girlfriend and as much as I really want to be with one, I doubt I ever will… So what’s wrong with going forward with my following my dreams?

If all of this doesn’t work, I can only look downhill from now…

The Hoodie Generation

I had to come back to Canada.

A lot of people said to me that I lost weight in the last few months and I only realize it now when I came back and went thru my clothes again and found some pants that I bought in Japan years ago but could fit in… Well, now they fit me perfect. Guess what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna work my ass off and keep my weight down as much as possible. I rarely feel very very empowered but now I do. You have to put things you live now in perspective to attain reachable goals in your life in order to perform. If you only dream about doing something and don’t treat the steps to get there as individual goals, you’ll never reach what you long for.
So I don’t feel like drinking for a while. I don’t feel like eating bad food, fast food for a while.
Back here in my “home” in Canada, my father eats pretty healthy and he needs to as this is not only because he’s gluten intolerant but because nutrition is the basic of life, it’s the basis to everything.

Sometimes you wish you had more things….
I’ve spent one year with limited expenses, limited ressources and only a part of the stuff I had and I was perfectly fine.
I’ve had some times I thought I could use some things I have home but finally found a way to do or think things differently.
Now I came back “home” I found out I have WAY TOO MUCH stuff… I need to get rid of litterally “EVERYTHING” before attempting to go back to Japan next time.
Like I said I went throught the clothes I had left here and decided that 50% of it was just junk. I don’t wear sweathers with no hoodie anymore, nor that I wear jeans.
I still need clothes to use for working in mechanics and in the yard here for the time I’ll be here so I kept some old stuff and torn off some sleeves.

Note : the featured picture for this blog post is from my favorite shop in Takeshita dori in Harajuku, Tokyo.

A gamble…

So if you’ve been following me lately… (not sure how few of you has…) I’m applying for a program that let me study in Japan for two years while being sponsored by a company who loan me the school fees and let me work part-time with them to pay back the loan and finally hire me after I graduate. I’m confident that this a step in a good direction for me. I really want to learn more Japanese and add some juice to my already well-filled resume and then apply all those skills to a career I can develop in Japan.
I know this is a very big gambling for me as I will have to sacrifice many things in my life, my cars, my stuff, my contacts with some people and family… but as I said many time, we’ve got only one life to live, let’s try to live it fully and follow what your dreams and your heart tells you.
I’ve been thru so many things and yet again there is still some doubt in my mind that what I’m attempting to do now will somehow work well. It’s one of the biggest steps I’ve ever taken but this gambling could skyrocket me to a more interesting career than what I have envisioned earlier.
I had loved to go to University in Canada with coming back to Japan in mind to teach English or such but this would have meant that I wouldn’t learn the Japanese language as much and wouldn’t be developing contacts and connection in Japan, in immersion.
Getting to live in Japan was the first goal. It all began when I decided to apply for the working holiday visa. This step meant that this possible year or working holiday would be decisive as to if I’d rather continue my life in Canada or in Japan.

This past year on working holiday in Japan wasn’t that easy, but I think I managed it relatively well. I wasn’t really stranded even if I broke a foot in June 2016.

There are some good things and less good things in Japan but when you are someone like me who learned to see the good things even in the worse moments, you can easily figure out many things when living here.

I’ve lived in big cities, I’ve lived in the countryside. So far, the countryside is astonishingly beautiful, but the cities offers a degree of convenience far more superior to any other country.
When I broke my foot, I’ve lived alone in a small but beautiful apartment in Matsumoto with nothing in it and yet for about 100$ I managed to find used stuff and discount shop as well as every service I needed to peacefully live in town without having to go out much because this meant walking with crutches, and god knows how sweaty and tired you get…

More gambling…

This week I also received an email from an hotel group that I’ve been in contact with for a job. My friend Sawame-san, who I worked with in Hakuba this past winter, suggested that I apply to work for this hotel’s group location that is in Hakuba.
He even went out of his way and accompanied me to Hakuba to have an interview.
At that time, in June, they said they could possibly hire me and give me a work visa!!! But hiring me as soon as my working holiday visa finish would mean I would start work in September. But in Hakuba in September there is pretty much nothing happening there. So they suggested that I make contact with their branch in Karuizawa and if everything goes well in interview, I could start working there from September to December and then move to Hakuba in the winter because the hotel is also a ski resort there so it will be busy.
So this week, I’m going to Karuizawa to get an interview.
I’d say that I’d prefer to start working there over the option of studying in Japan, which would possibly be a very different challenge. Since I already worked at different accomodation facilities in Japan, and in different position, I already have a good idea how the work is so…
I’ll see…
I’ll keep you guys updated on this blog as much as possible as well as the outcome between the different opportunities that I’ve got…

JAL 123 – The crash, the conspiracy

You might not know about it but on this day 31 years ago, one of the deadliest plane crash in commercial flight history has happened in Japan. With 520 fatalities including the plane crew, it was a big disaster.
Apparently, according to the official reports and news, a faulty repair on the Boeing 747-SR100 years earlier because of a tail-strike incident caused the rear of the airplane to suddenly suffer from an explosive decompression while rendering the thing carrying many people inoperable and uncontrollable.
The crew could contact the ground and check what they could do but unfortunately, since the airplane couldn’t be maneuvered it went in circles and ended up crashing in the mountains of the southern Gunma prefecture, deviating from its original destination, Osaka.
The plane crashed all on its own in the mountains and apparently, according to the surviving victims, there were a bunch of survivors but they had to wait until morning to be rescued because of some half-ass decision from the Japanese government not to send the American allies on the crash site at first.

In any way, you can read the whole story of what everyone said happened, according to the medias and such on Wikipedia here : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japan_Airlines_Flight_123

What the story doesn’t tell tough is that many witnesses and well-informed people have a very different view of what actually happened. And it’s way worse than you think.
First, the airplane was full of people traveling the country for the Obon holidays. Some of the people on board were actually important people that were against the Japanese prime minister Nakasone engaging into the Plaza Accord.
Then, at the crash site, in early morning, some civilian witnesses that were the first on the site discovered that there was already army staff there but they were not especially trying to rescue the people that were still dying at the moment. They were picking up some other stuff on the ground, what to be discovered later through photographs that there was parts of other airplanes and nuclear weapon along the carcass of the Boing 747. Some people also found years later a bottle of VX gas that was presumably used to poison the survivors that could’ve known about the Boeing being shot at from either a stealth American forces or Japan Defense Forces aircraft or possibly a Russian one.
Some studies and researchers found some very suspicious facts about that crash and the fact that some of the bodies that have been burned not once but twice as well as having some bodies missing and account of other survivors at the site, especially the case of one boy which body was never found but appeared to be alive on one photograph.
It’s true that rescue operations were delayed but they knew of the crash site right when it happened and people flew there right away.
The actual survivors said later that when they woke up among the plane debris, there was lights and voices of people and some lamentation of other survivors. If the right people would’ve been there at the right time, they would’ve probably been much more survivors but being pretty-much a self-terrorist act from the Japanese government and not an accident, this dark chapter may never be known.
This is one of the worst things I’ve ever found about Japanese history and it’s highly criticized. A lot of Japan Defense Forces staff committed suicide in the following years after the crash and one serious researcher knowing a lot about the crash was poisoned the day before he was about to give a conference about the truth about the crash.

In the end… We can’t help but mourn the victims of this tragedy, whatever the reasons why the plane crashed or was shot down with a nuclear weapon, or was carrying one…
There are many horrifying pictures of the crash site over the internet, I recommend not looking at them before going to bed, you might have nightmares…

I may have my blog erased because of posting this but…
If you’re curious, here are some links :


In Japanese :

About CSSPJ program : the application.

Got some more news for the school sponsorship program that I’ll probably join next year. For those who don’t know. This is called a the CSSPJ program and it is offered by an agency with decent details. Check it out here : www.japan-school.com
As first I was worried that this might be a scam but a number of things told me that this is the real deal. There are blogs of people currently studying and working in Japan with the help of this right now and they have been offering this program for people from outside of Japan since 2014. So this is relatively new.
But they are a small part of what the real deal is. The agency pretty much only connects the companies, the students and the language schools and works in order to make links between all of these and it seems efficient so far.
Also, hopefully, the agency and the school will conjointly provide support, accommodation and such, as to ensure that the students really go thru studying and finding work.

There was a first interview in which they discussed about my Japanese language ability and why I’m interested in Japan and studying Japanese. This was pretty easy since I already speak Japanese and I’ve been in Japan for about one year now and I’ve been studying Japanese language and culture for a long time now.

I had a second interview a few days ago and they reviewed my profile and skills to have it submitted it to companies and schools.
We also discussed about where I would possibly be going to go in Japan. About the choices there is Nagoya, Tokyo and Fukuoka… Probably more, but that were the most obvious choices.
I have set my first choice as Tokyo, for many reasons, but I would have been interested in going to Nagoya too, but I’ve never been there yet and I don’t know a lot of people there, contrary to Tokyo.

So, after a few days, they replied back to me and I am eligible for the full 75% sponsorship. This means a company or maybe multiple companies saw my profile, resume and application and there are looking to hire someone like me.
So one of them will technically be sponsoring the whole of my school fees and I will pay them back. The company will technically be responsible for me, for my visa and everything so since it’s as a pretty damn big gambling for them as it is for me, this seems legit and it also means that they are big companies which can afford to invest into that kind of risk.
I will have to pay the 25% from my pockets by lump sum divided by the number of semesters, but only at each beginning of semesters. So this means paying upfront a certain about of money of about 7.5% if there is 4 semesters.
And then, during the time I will be studying and working part time as a student, I will pay back the other 75% to the sponsoring company monthly, like a loan, until the end of the program or beyond since I’ll probably be hired full time by my sponsor company after I get my Japanese language degree. Also, it may also happen that I graduate after one year or between the first and the second year depending how good I become.

So, right, along  with the good news about being able to be sponsored to the program’s maximum, they released to me the information that I’ve been chosen to study in a language school in Tokyo… in Aoyama !!!!
Yes that’s next to Harajuku, Shibuya, Roppongi, Omotesando… The big yen sign all over the place…
Not a shady backyard place… It’s a high-end education institution in the most high-class part of Tokyo, reknown for being an International gateway for students, mostly from Asia, to come study the language in Japan and have those people get job placement in the country. This is their website : http://www.aoyama-international.com/index-e.html
As for the accommodation, I have been informed that in Tokyo, the possible location is in Ueno area… Maybe elsewhere.
In the first year of study, I will live as the designated accommodation as it is the rule from the program since they want to be able to closely guide all the people and provide appropriate support.
In the second year, it is possible to find our own place to live, freely… So since I have tons of friends and acquaintances in Tokyo already, this shouldn’t be a problem to find probably a cheaper or better place to stay, or to stay with a good friend, or, who knows… a girlfriend!!!!
Stay put! More to come.

Août à Kamikouchi

J’ai l’impression d’avoir deux encumes à la place des pieds.. Foulure sévère de la cheville droite voilà presque 2 ans, et os cassé dans le pied gauche au mois de juin… Veux veux pas, j’ai dû utiliser mon pied droit pour supporter le gauche dernièrement, donc les deux sont vraiment fatigués…
J’suis capable de marcher mais je sais que ma vie ne sera plus jamais la même…
Que j’en entende pas un me reprocher que je me traine les pieds calvaire….

Mais je dois quand même travailler. Cela veux dire retourner travailler à l’hôtel où j’ai travaillé d’avril à fin juin, à Kamikouchi, Matsumoto, dans la préfecture de Nagano.
J’aimais vraiment travailler dans le magasin de souvenirs et café mais depuis que je suis revenu, lundi dernier, je travaille dans la cuisine, qui est davantage un laboratoire de production alimentaire qu’une cuisine, étant donné les standards élevés du Japon.

Tous habillés de blanc inpeccable, on prépare des mets et des plats pour des gens qui payent de 200 à 500$ pour une nuit, souper et déjeuner inclus.
Faire la vaisselle et replacer tous les plats fait partie des tâches, mais heureusement, nous sommes toute une équipe et nous sommes équipés de machines.

C’est la saison forte en ce moment et cela veut dire que je n’aurais droit qu’à 4 jours de congés ce mois-ci, incluant celui qui était le 4e jour du mois, qui est passé.
De 5h45 AM à 10h AM et ensuite de 3h30 à 9h PM, telles sont mes heures de travail. Je suis très mauvais pour calculer combien de temps je travaille par jour mais j’espère seulement que le temps excédant 8 heures est calculé en “over-time” et est payé plus cher de l’heure car j’ai beaucoup de choses à payer, dont des dettes… et des taxes à payer sur le revenu en prorata suite à une malancontreuse erreur…

Je me fou un peu de mettre ça sur mon blog mais bon, il a bien des choses que je pourrais aussi raconter et que je ne raconte pas. Des fois il me manque des mots pour exprimer ma tristesse, ma joie ou quelques autres émotions qui me viennent depuis que je suis ici.
En fait, mon périple au Japon depuis septembre dernier est la période la plus forte en émotions que j’ai pu vivre dans ma vie.
Il en ressort beaucoup de positif. J’ai eu du temps pour travailler sur moi. Établir clairement des objectifs et mettre du positif dans ma vie, même si cela n’est pas toujours facile à faire quand on vit dans un pays dont on ne connait pas beaucoup la langue….

En espérant trouver d’autre mots pour dire d’autre chose. J’imagine que très peu de gens liront ceci mais écrire me permet de m’éclaicir les idées un peu… Lâcher un morceau… Puisque ce n’est pas facile de tout partager avec un/une/u¶ ami…

Back on my feet!

I’m back on my feet!!!
Today I went back to the hospital in Takayama where I’ve done all my treatments for my injured foot. After they cut my cast and took x-rays, my doctor studied the X-rays of my foot and promptly requisitioned the crutches and gave me my deposit back while kindly and politely saying “bout it bro, chillout and gimme those damn crutches, get that dough and you can roll out man!!”. In short, I can walk, with the weak foot sideways in order not to have to fold my toes.
I must take it slowly tough, I’m barely able to walk now… But my doctor said my cracked bone has recovered, it’s just a matter of getting my foot functional again!

I did my home work well, after i went to the hospital the first time, I had quit alcool completely, and when I moved to my apartment in Matsumoto, I started eating things that are good for bone formation and health such as food rich in Vitamin C, D, K, calcium, magnesium and zinc.
In Japan we have “komatsuna” which is a sort of spinach that contains a lot of Vitamin K. Natto also contains a lot of it. Then the fish contains Vitamin D and calcium, peanuts contains zinc and magnesium… and I ate some other things too like yogurt, tomatoes, rice, eggs, orange juice, dried bananas, almonds…
The upcoming days will be very important for me, I’ve got a lot of stuff coming up.
I’ll keep you guys updated!

Endangered specie

This is the house. Under this route, under this sun, under those circumstances. Viral it is not. In fact… YOU
YOU, that will probably not read this, because it seems I’m alone on the Internet…
Well, this has become really painful.

So, it’s been a while, some stuff happened, too much stuff. Finally got some time to think and clean what’s left of my life after a few months working my ass off in Japan to pay for my three-wheel motorcycle in Canada. I didn’t need that, but that’s another story. I unvoluntarily have some time off now because I broke a bone in my left foot…..
After the last post on this blog, I had embark on a journey in Hakuba, Nagano to work at a ski resort. I didn’t think I’d fit in at all, the first days were horrible since I could barely speak Japanese. Eventually I got better, mended my head, or the inside of it. Could start snowboarding which has been a very very good thing. Finally I could start to enjoy after about a month… I made a few friends, kept contact with them on Facebook. I didn’t go out as much as I would’ve liked to because every day at work was tiring and I didn’t have much money. I also felt something for a coworker but she blatantly started ignoring me like if I was a mere dog.
April 1st meant this was all over in Hakuba. I headed to Takayama and lived there like in a dream working at an hostel 4 hours per day and doing bicycle the rest of the time around town. My friend Rina and me had some great fun too. This was AWESOME.
Then on April 19th I embarked for yet another journey this time in Kamikouchi, a big natural prison located in the most remote valley in Japan, at the heart of the Japanese Alps. I was going to work at the souvenir shop and café of an hotel. The first few days was training and then we suffered the Golden Week where a lot of people came. This was literally the most difficult thing I’ve ever done in my life. My Japanese level still being quite low, I had a hard time following and my manager was speaking so fast I couldn’t understand half of what he was teaching us to do. Well, everyone was new at this job. My colleagues, and in fact all of the staff, spoke ONLY Japanese, except for one girl in management I happened to meet one or two times… Considering that the hotel I work at is quite classy, the rules and manners are strict and self-presentation really important. Nevertheless, I made it, I could get in the beat after about 1 month and I have been able to learn a lot. I had the chance to work with one-of-a-kind Japanese lady of my age which I naturally fell in love with and then she started ignoring me, like all the Japanese girls do…. Every single Japanese girl I’ve ever met and talked.. stopped talking to me. Every single one of them just blatantly decided they would just ignore me for the rest of times. This is very frustrating when it’s literally EVERY ONE…. Anyway this time, this particular girl she wants to learn English and French, yet she speaks very little English so I managed to have her understanding and she helped me understand work by explaining me stuff slower than the manager. My manager speaks and act so fast, I think he drinks 10 coffees in the morning and then try to calm the fuck down by smoking an entire pack of 20 cigarettes during the day and at the end he’s exhausted.
Nevertheless, mid-June I was coming out of the dormitories with my cans and recycle when I tripped and fell down hurting my left food badly. Went to the clinic and the doctor said it didn’t look that bad and it was probably just a strain. So I continued working with that pain without really knowing anything about what was going on in my foot. One week later I decided to go to the hospital in Takayama since I had a day off and it was still hurting. After waiting 5 long (not) minutes in the waiting room of the emergency, I finally saw a doctor and he sent me to X-rays. When I got back he said something like : “Dude, you’ve fucked up your motherfucking foot real bad bro'” in Japanese keigo (super-respectful) language. And so I had a crack in a bone and it would need to be immobilized for a certain period of time so they wrapped my foot up to down the knee with a cast made of laminated 3M plastic bands, pretty revolutionary in my idea, never seen that before. I was shocked. This meant I would have to give up working.
I had to give up after all. One week later, still living in the staff dormitories of the hotel in Kamikochi, they kindly urged me to pack the hell out of my junk and get the hell out of there, forcing me to go to some place I didn’t find to stay at. They made a call to a contact they have in Matsumoto and secured an appartment for me on third and last floor of a nice building near Kita-Matsumoto station. One month. No deposit, no key money, no garantor, 300$ for the month + electricity, water and gas charge. I’m pretty happy with that especially it’s a nice and quiet place. But I had NOTHING in there, just my stuff and a futon they lent me. Nothing to cook, nothing to sit down, no furniture, curtains, NOTHING. I was wrecked, completely screwed. I cried a lot. I said to myself I should have searched more, ask ALL of my friends, find a cheaper place, whatever…. but I didn’t have much time before that and no mean to carry my stuff, having to walk with crutches…

So here I am now, after some shopping I could manage to live here temporarily, with very little money I have left. I didn’t see anyone I know for the last 15 days now except one time I went to Takayama to the hospital again and passed by my friend’s hostel she’s working at. So… it feels pretty lonely… pretty painful… But I managed to out-think myself and do some stuff, sort my junk and throw out some stuff I didn’t need.
Now I try to see the sunny side of the street.
Now I try to convince myself that it’s not over yet.
Now I try to think that I didn’t fail yet, that I still have two months left here in Japan, in my dream, my real life, everything that I ever dreamed of, even in this state, here, because every time I go out of this apartment, I once again see that I live in the best country in the world, even if it’s not perfect, it’s good enough for me and if you know me, you know why and you know what this means. END
btw if by the end of July my foot is mended right enough, I’ll probably go back to work at that hotel and annoy the shit out of that dream girl I worked with… She will probably be shocked and put on a poker face, ignore me and speak to me strictly for work purpose I guess… Can’t help it… Japanese girls doesn’t seems to like me at all…… 😦


So much negative stuff about my country of origin on Facebook…

This adds to many many things that happens there, that I find completely absurd…

Yes, they decided that it was OK to let the sewers of the biggest city in the main river of the country for 7 days…

Yes, the government is cutting in important things like :
Nurses ✓
Community groups ✓
The consultative bodies ✓
Youth organizations ✓
Services to students ✓
Higher education ✓
The fight against dropping ✓
The integration of immigrants ✓
Childcare ✓

Yes people continues wanting to vote for the same assholes over and over because of candies and stupid reasons like “if we vote for the other party, this will happen, and if we vote for the third party, well, it’s not big enough to win anything”…. -_- ASSHOLES!!!!!

Yes pretty much all major companies are tax-exempt and benefit from the LIMITED natural resources for a ridiculously small fee..

Yes in general, average people are living their lives like a video game, not giving a fuck about their education, laws, future and everybody else… They just like being douche-bags dickheads that want to look cool and hit up all the swag like YOLOs…

Yes people just spend their time debating on if it’s all right to have a debate and who has the right to debate, and then complain just thinking about their own good aiming only for the highest benefits without thinking of their neighbors, this, instead of actually doing something useful.

Yes people complain instead of working, ask why they have to work instead of doing shit…

Yes, a country that I think will never get anywhere…

Yes you want to debate about why I say all of this, you think it’s “just me”…

Yes you want to know why it’ll be better off living in Japan..

Well, Japan is far from perfect too, but at least its people are doing things differently (actually doing something) and thinking differently and this shows, Japan doesn’t seems like it but it’s plenty to tightly knit communities in which people care about others…

Now if you’ll excuse me… NO I’LL JUST EXCUSE MYSELF, I need to go continue to learn Japanese…